NW Vine Project 2008 Red Splendor

“Bring Your Kid To Work Day” has taken on new meaning when a 26 year-old MI woman took her 2 year-old daughter to a home that they broke into and burglarized. Overheard at sentencing, the little girl was told she would get 5 to 7 with 3 years off for good behavior if she was potty-trained by Christmas. A Chinese man was freed by rescuers after he attempted to retrieve the cellphone he dropped into the crapper. At first, the rescuers thought he was full of shit until they realized how pissed off he was. And, lastly, I cannot believe this is still making news but over the weekend, a 63 year-old man was gored by a mountain goat in the Olympic National Park and later died. Park personnel speculated the goat was in a rut, or the fall mating season. They ended up killing the goat, whereas if it was a person, they would have ended up spending a million-plus in court costs to get a 10-year deferred sentence or an acquittal due to “judicial errors.”

Speaking of goats and ruts… I am stunned at the impish stupidity being spewed by local wine bloggers over Initiatives 1100 and 1105. There’s one cueball set of blogposts that egregiously overANALyze the content of these initiatives, trying to inspire intelligent conversation, all the while feigning a spineless opinion to vote against both initiatives based not on the content, but on the initiative process itself. Now, I can understand voting for I-1105 if you are in the beverage distribution industry. Heck, I would, too. I can even understand voting no on I-1100 if you are associated with (or have benefited from) the Washington Wine Institute. I can even go out on a limb and find it acceptable if wine bloggers advocate a ‘no’ on I-1100 after guzzling free wine samples from wineries or winemakers that are against I-1100. Just admit it and go on. In any of these cases, you either got bought off or are playing a dangerous game of politics while disregarding your integrity to your readers. Real bloggers of character will stand for what is right and sensible, regardless of potentially alienating the powers up the food chain.

While there are a few who are so embedded and cozy with the local wine industry that they have shed their integrity for free wine, what’s worse than these individuals are the clowns and faux-wine bloggers that simply go along and support whatever the alpha-hermaphrodite spews. These brainless “me-toos” tend to stroke each other (in more ways than one) and have clusterfucks over virtual wine-tastings or flashmobs at free tastings at the expense of the wineries or hosting establishments. Some are also known to partake in freebies while recommending their readers to pay an asinine amount for lesser treatment. Do these all-time losers truly represent the reading consumer? You’re right. I think not, also.

Unfortunately, milllenials tend to be “packing a lighter suitcase upstairs” due to their cobwebbed cd collection of 98 Degrees and ‘N Sync in their formative years. Bunch of dumbfucks. If you don’t believe it, go waste your time and attend the 20-something wine wannabes event coming up. Meet all the cheapskate broke-asses who can’t afford a ten-buck chuck but look oh-so-kewl sipping on free $40 cabernets. Note to crybabies: those millenials who CAN afford the truly good stuff absolutely LOVE my blogposts. They went to college and graduated with a degree in a ‘demand’ industry and, thus make a hefty mint. They weren’t lame enough to get laid off and collect unemployment.

But, worst of all are the oldest of old goats who have yet to even form an opinion on the initiatives. Some are too busy selling overpriced books that will end up being most useful in the hearth, burning on a cold winter’s night, while other geezers try to appease the wanderlost generation into gently reminding the ‘entitled-wannabes’ how smart they sound when it’s really words that were meant to comfort the intelligence of an infant who desperately needs a diaper change.

The bottom line is this: we live in a world where a strong opinion (for or against something) is now considered ‘extremist’ and is often ignored by the so-called “beautiful people.” Thankfully, in this age of transparency, these heteroflexible blogger’s profile pictures quickly shrink any support for meaningful backup of this wayward group of fugly mugworts. Gotcha Journalism will expose these wormy bloggers for what they are… fondlers of popular opinion and people.

To the wine… what the hell is this? I bought this blind from Full Pull Wines for reasons I cannot recall. My only guess is that I had tasted a mourvedre from Dusted Valley Vintners’ tasting room and thought I could rekindle the sparkle at half the price.

Admittedly, based on just the wine label, I would not have bought this bottle if I saw it in the supermarket. The label is cluttered with far too many words and designed like a cheap Aussie shiraz. The “My Lord, do you know what you hold in your hand!” is something reminiscent of carnival wine. I suppose the saving grace was Full Pull’s words of this wine being made by Andrew Rich of Oregon. I heard only good things about Andrew Rich, despite being in Oregon, so this may have been a curiously calculated risk. Good call. One benefit of (buying and) drinking wines from about 150 different WA wineries is my intuition IQ is quite high. (point)

Paired with an exquisite bowl of Stagg chili with Johnsonville spicy sausage. The wine’s über-juicy expression of mourvedre provided a complementary match to the meaty, heaty plate. Recommended.

Tasted at 46-63 degrees. Color: purple-magenta. Nose: plum, violets. Mouthfeel: lightweight. Tail trail: 4 seconds. Flavors: plum, blackberry, black pepper, cherry. Alcohol: 14.1%. 44% mourvedre, 36% syrah, 20% grenache. Stelvin cap. Produced and bottled by NW Vine Project, Carlton, OR. Music pairing: “Thank You For Being A Friend” and “Lonely Boy” by Andrew Gold. Rated: 88. Value: $12. This is WAwineman…uncorked, uneducated but spined.

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