How can you not love Chicago? First, they gave Charlie Sheen’s “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option” roadshow a better overall reception than that murder capital farther east on I-94. Then came this, a local cologne manufacturer will market two scents named Bacon! There’s a full-throttled, maple version called Bacon Classic and a lighter edition for those on high-dose Lipitor called Bacon Gold. But, little do they know that out here on the left coast, we already receive the pigsty aromas after even just glancing at pork-barrel wine blogs like a local wine report or from a ‘senior wine writer.’ A little bit west in Aurora, IL, the Kane County Forest Preserve folks who run the parks has proposed requiring humans using a dog park to wear a license around their necks, in addition to paying a $40 annual use-fee. This idea was taken from the Washington State Wine Blogger Council requiring wine bloggers on-the-take (eg. Walla Walla wine report and any fool named Gwine) to wear a big ‘L’ on their fiveheads. Not to be outdone, an Elkton, Maryland man was the victim of an April Fool’s prank when he was found glued to a toilet seat at a Wal-Mart. The 48 year-old man, name withheld for obvious reasons, was taken to a local emergency room where it took 15 minutes to remove the toilet seat. Let’s hope he wiped off all his dingleberries. Speaking of dingleberries…
What an incredibly satisfying week it has been to validate my claims that local wine bloggers are self-tooting, low-esteem, hype-mongers! First, there was the Seattle Magazine “wine awards” waste of space, tooting its incest pick of a fellow media mongol as “best” wine blog. Amongst the listed accomplishments was the same shit I blogged about long ago, regarding the old crank’s undignified slap at a reader comment. As for typical media cover-ups, the rag quoted him opening “six bottles of wine.” What wasn’t detailed was those six bottles were rumored to have been: Blue Fin pinot noir, Bella Sera pinot grigio, Barefoot chardonnay, two buck Chuck cabernet, Yellow Tail merlot, Blue Fish riesling, and Glen Ellen syrah. But wait! There’s more. Then, the old goat swiped information from a winery’s email that was sent out to its customer list just after 8am on Thursday, re-organized the information, then posted it and furiously tweeted all his gas-belching “me-toos” to give him credit for the ‘scoop’, blow hollow flattery to his highn-ass, and to retweet. Who cares? The previous owner of his eponymous winery will still be making the wines for at least another 5 years. Anyone who has even moderately followed the winery knew he had no family members to pass the torch to and the guy’s been in the industry over 35 years. Very clear and present signs that a ‘for sale’ sign was imminent. Alas, no dingleberry reference can be fortified better than including that local wine report liar who recently tweeted about millenials “driving wine market growth.” Let’s be clear, cheap wines (sub-$15) are driving any wine market growth in the last couple of years. Everyone buys cheap “value” wines, not just millenials. If these so-called wine experts would simply walk through the wine aisles of the local supermarkets like I (and everyone else) frequently do, then it’s simple math to understand what is going on in wine sales. But, these moochers prefer to score free wine the sleazy way; thus, the disconnect with their readers.
This wine is a clear example. Ol’ ‘senior wine writer’ mentions this wine as costing $45. Not that he saw the price on the winery’s website or at the market. No. This wine was tossed to the moocher and with it, a supposed suggested retail of $45 (maybe he got it confused with the 2007). Two lessons here: (1) suggested retail in this economy is NOT the same as marketplace retail; and (2) this obsolescent winery gave away its expensive wine to an ineffective, crusty old klonk. Coincidence? Think about it and how many times I have railed against wineries punting their expensive wines over to non-influential, non-entertaining wine buggers. What the hell is wrong with requiring wine bloggers that they actually PAY for at least the cost of the bottle of wine in exchange for a full-spectrum tasting and he/she/they can take home one bottle of their choice? Wine moochers, I tell ya, the slimeballs are killing the local wineries with their lack of financial support. If they aren’t willing to join the winery’s club, at least buy a frickin’ bottle from the winery. Is that SO MUCH to ask?
To the wine.
Oh my gawd! When I saw this bottle while perusing the Costco wine boxes, I immediately had an eye-boner. What a gorgeous package job the Olsen Estates did. I compared this voluptuous dark-olive dame with the horizontal gold-line across its foil at the neck with the Rasa Vineyards Reserve syrah. Besides being a hair-taller, its shoulders are wider, revealing a carved, buxom, and bodacious body silkscreened simply with a logo, a free-flowing ‘Heritage’, vintage 2008, and the winery name, all in faux-gold leaf with a deep, indented punt. This, this is a bottle that, if ever there was a reason to equate ‘sexy’ with wine, this is it. Really sorry to see this winery’s demise.
For you back label-beaters, it does say “Yakima Valley syrah” and the alcohol content, along with a short blip about the Olsen Family.
Served with a slappy New York strip steak and a measure of sautéed onions and mushrooms. Dreamy.
Tasted at 56-67 degrees on the IR temp gun. A very young and playful purple is accompanied by a dawdling stink of bacon, blackberry, and public men’s restroom. I know you ‘Old World’ folks love this crappy smell, but for me, it needs to be tempered and lassoed. Surprisingly light on the palate, flavors of purple fruits, black pepper, black cherry, dried tobacco leaf, and raspberries danced on a moderate finish. The stink disappeared at 24 hrs and the enjoyment scale moved up a notch. At 48 hrs, this fragrant blossom had wilted considerably.
Alcohol: 14.8% (tech sheet says 14.4%). 100% estate-grown syrah. Harvested Oct. 12, 2008. Harvest Brix: 26. Aged 16 months in 100% new French oak. pH 3.8. TA 0.71. RS 0.03% (undetectable). MA 0.07 g/l. Winery recommends drink through 2020. 120 cases.
Yakima Valley AVA. Power: 3/5. Balance: 2/5. Depth: 3/5. Finesse: 3/5. Stink: 3/5. Rated: 92 (90-92). Value: $35. Paid: $27.59. Winery website price for the 2007 is $45. 2008 not listed. Music pairing: “Sorry (I Ran All The Way Home)” by The Impalas. This is WAwineman…uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.
P.S. You want a scoop? Here’s one. That empty spot next to Purple Cafe in Woodinville will become the next trendy locale to sip wine. William Church Winery has signed on and more are coming. I won’t tell you who, but you will find out soon enough. Stay tuned.