A WAwineman favorite, 1st posted on June 22, 2010:
Ok kiddies, after drinking practically all of the bottles of 62 wines (61 of which I PAID FOR) from 4 States (54 from WA alone) and 4 countries, in less than 5 months this year (and over 200 bottles in 2 and ½ years), I duly hereby am now qualified to bequeath recognition as leaders (and bottom feeders) of the current wine movement from world headquarters right here in the Center of the Wine Universe, Woodinville.
The Sulfidic and Mousey Awards, aka “To All the Dunderheads I’ve Read Before”:
LA Times : if you’re going to keep reviewing the cheap, foreign domaine de la cooking wines, then change your wine column’s name to “Wine of the Weak.”
SFgate.com: hit-and-miss stories on wine intermingled with snotty food recipes. I mean, when mac-and-cheese requires 1 cup or 6 ounces of everything in your pantry, which ends up costing $150 to serve “12-14 people,” …ya kinda missed the point, Termite.
Senior Wine Writer #3 (HoseBater of Wine): Ron Washedup pulled a boner with his take on that ghetto wine-pornstar-wannabe in NectarDrinker, but his recycled Johnny Carson-era sarcasm is so limp, not even a bottle of Viagra and a case of K-Y Jelly will resuscitate all of his shortcomings. And that includes most of his commenters. They all must drive BIG trucks.
Senior Wine Writer #2 (Grumpy Plonkmaker): Gail puts out some interesting facts on his “sometimes” blog. Unfortunately, it’s usually limited to, at most, one sentence. The guy has the nerve to sling advice to wine bloggers, yet by a quick measure of quantitative comments, he has a cumulative total that’s less than one of my own topics. Typical gas coming from this marmot: “Why we don’t enter competitions anymore” topic is later followed by “Confessions of a Blogging Winemaker” where he admits he entered a competition after getting greased by a Seattle smellier. Gotta love his blog pic…he looks like a constipated Beach Boy.
Senior Wine Writer #1 (Mr. “Sophomoric” himself): While there’s little question to Paul’s historical knowledge (after all, he is known to have shared a glass with George Washington while crossing the Delaware), this closet commie Walla Walla-phile has the integrity of a banjo-strumming Mafioso. To wit, while the location of the Wine Bloggers Conference 2010 was up for grabs, the Gre-guttless One commented positively about the Conference coming to Washington State and “I’d be happy to participate as a panelist…” Fast forward about 11 months later and somehow, his blog is nominated for an award at the Conference, BUT he turns the table and clearly eschews anything that has to do with the Conference after that HoseBater of Wine mocked it. And I quote, “the real surprise is that I got a nomination…But now to learn that the only honorable response is to withdraw. How do you withdraw? I am not registered for the Blogger Conference…maybe I should register first then not show…or…what?” A modern-day Benedict Arnold of wine.
WHO AM I?
1. Loser award for wine blogging:
“Would you like a quick suggestion for a barfy wine to drink tonight?”
“Great Washington State Wine Available in Timbuktu. I should know since I’ve never been there and use lazyasswine-searcher dotcom.”
“Challenging Wine Pairing: Chicken Stir-Fry” Verbatim. I kid you not.
“At Taste Washington, we tasted 116 wines and have the absolute nerve to rate them.”
“Here’s a wine word of the week from someone else since I don’t know any of them myself.”
Winner, er scratch that, Loser: …rhymes with WineCreeps.com
2. Best Washington State wine blog 2010:
“Indeed, that sounds intriguing. That said, someone had the nerve to call me on evaluating 100 wines over 4 days. Agreed, I’m glad he wasn’t in my Roundup the last couple of weeks.”
Winner: Congrats, Sean Sullivan of WashingtonWineReport.com
3. Best regional coverage of Washington State wines 2010:
“The Bus Overshot Its Stop Here – OTB Extra Credit Credit Quiz”
“OTB # 237 Punitive Kathy – An aborted interview with the Shiels family due to my insistence they use Rattlesnake Hills AVA on their labels.”
“OTB # 1294 I just love labels that state “Columbia Valley” when the spec sheet says all the fruit comes from Red Willow Vineyard.”
And the award goes to: Congrats, Chris and Barb Cary of yakyakwine.com
4. Most entertaining column dealing with wine ANYWHERE 2010: No question! My K Vintners 2007 El Jefe riff should be in the Wine Blogging Cellar of Fame.