Guardian Cellars 2010 Angel sauvignon blanc

It’s been a really, really messed up week… Where’s the justice in Florida? A Florida dentist posted bail after being charged with false imprisonment of a patient. It’s not what you think. The dentist’s 85 year-old patient was having her partial dentures adjusted when she wigged out from the pain and bolted from the chair and threw the dentures at him while demanding a refund. When the dentist refused the refund, they struggled over the artificial lower mandibles. The patient then bit the hand to try to let the dentist let go of the…man this is disgusting if you know what dentures look like with all that smegma leftover from chugging Metamucil daily…dentures then tried to leave the office but the dentist blocked the exit door. That was a mouthful. Nearby, a 10 year-old was fishing when he hooked a 6-foot alligator. The gator ran at him but the kid was able to wrestle with it and dragged the Crocodylidae back home where grandpa then called authorities. Wildlife officers, believe it or not, could have arrested the kid on a felony had he been older, but instead planned to release Wally Gator. Up the coast in Delaware, a 63 year-old woman woke up to discover a burglar sleeping on her couch, beer in hand. He woke up when confronted and later fled but was caught by authorities wandering the neighborhood with said beer can in
tow. This is why you never drink on the job, folks. And, speaking of all my homies in the Tri-Cities Wine Society, the Benton Franklin Health District reversed its vote to allow promoting colon cancer awareness with billboards of Scott Abernethy’s mug asking his fellow citizens, “What’s up your butt?” Scotty, some things are better left unsaid, bruther.

Anyone who has read a few local bloggers knows they just cannot trust them to provide truly lusty information on a hot find until (1) the wine is sold out; (2) said blogger’s “buddies” has hoarded all remaining stock; or (3) that blogger’s hype was only worthy of keeping the Goodyear banner afloat.

This is common knowledge regarding wine bloggers: they were given free samples as “payment” to hype up whatever crap they were encouraged to polish. Evidence? You already know the hot garbage spewed out by these lousy-ass scribers in “write for wine,” “woodinville wine update,” “worshington wine report,” and “paulg’s wine blog.” Paid off. Every one of these mo-fos. Don’t trust ‘em. Better yet, don’t read that steaming pile of fecal matter. What a tremendous waste of time.

The point here being, Guardian Cellars just released the 2010 version of the ‘Angel’ sauvignon blanc. This used to be my benchmark for Washington sauvignon blanc, but admittedly and in my own opinion, hit a downslide with the 2009 vintage. And, when I mean downslide, I defined that as just not a truly great representation of what Washington sauvignon blanc is (I believe I gave it a ‘90’ rating). And, trust me, it was very difficult to
review that 2009 version because I think Jerry and Jennifer are one of the finest wine couples in Woodinville. Hey, shit happens. And, I’m confident there are more than a few who would respectfully disagree with me. But, it’s my phucked up palate and that’s the end of that debate.

Turn the page to 2010. I had a great chat with Jerry about his wines and what’s in store. Unfortunately, this fucking wine was such a stunner, I forgot most of what he said.

What I do recall (about the wine) is that the ’10 is same-sourced as the ’09, 80% Klipsun and 20% Spring Creek; 295-300 cases were produced; same 7 weeks in new French oak to impart some creaminess; no intentional secondary fermentation (malo); and finished in stainless steel.

As for the rest, Jerry did mention something about starting up a ‘wine club’ and something unique. The wine club will be limited to 100 members and will open briefly sometime in July. He has a couple of special criminals to unleash on them, namely a ‘Felony’ and a ‘Misdemeanor.’ As to what they are composed of, well, you’ll just have to wait for a hearing. As for the ‘unique,’ let’s just say that he will be sourcing some grapes from a very special place that no one else in these parts has access to. He’s never worked with these
grapes before, but it’s been his long desire to see what he can do with them. We should all be so lucky to be granted a wish like his.

Oh ‘Angel,’ I have missed your blessings for so long that I never imagined you’d come back. Especially disheartening was the crazy 2010 vintage weather, but unlike other wineries now outputting some greeny white wines, this one was like meeting your old flame at a high school reunion. It’s like Angelina Jolie from senior prom to now. From “Girl, Interrupted” to “Lara Croft.” Oh yeah. All I can say is thank allah, I never gave up on this Angel! She’s back. And she’s bitchin’ gorgeous. It’s just too bad all my ‘Puget Sound’s backyard garden’ homeys won’t get easy access to this one. Call it a Westside Special, a Deluxe with Fries, or Combo no. 1 with a Mexican Coca-Cola, this one’s mine, gang!

Tonight’s faire was classic gringo Chinese take-out. Bland noodles. Peanut oil with potato chip-fried chicken. Peanut oil with broccoli and mystery dark meat. Peanut oil with wok-tossed chicken (or rat) and untested wild mushrooms. This wine put it all on its coattails and flew to the moon.

There’s sauvignon blancs, and then there’s ‘Angel.’ Tasted at 46-59 degrees on the IR temp gun. The aromas match the flavors, with guava and grapefruit at the fore, and peach, honeydew melon, and Granny Smith apples carrying the J-Lo sized rear. Fancy light yellow in glass. Pliable on the palate. A tongue-popping 7 seconds on the tail trail.

Alcohol: 14.0%. Columbia Valley AVA. 100% sauvignon blanc.
Grass? You want grass—go graze on Willows Run. You just might witness Ken
Griffey Jr. AND A-Rod like I did some years ago. I predict those major rags
will give this a 91. Whatever. Oh well. Rated: 96. Value: $40. Paid: $20. You want a wine
for tonight that will kick your ass for a 20-spot? Hurry, it will sell out
before UW graduation. Music pairing: “Tonight Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae. This
is WAwineman…uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.

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6 Responses to Guardian Cellars 2010 Angel sauvignon blanc

  1. Scott Abernethy says:

    Finally, a Bullseye! You thought that was my mug? Better look again – it was the other end of my alimentary canal. Word is, my gastroenterologist uses that image as his screensaver. Luckily, I have been clean both times I have undergone the procedure, and I actually look forward to the cleansing required the day before. I think I will try to make a wine smoothie next time.

    Changing subjects, I’m not much of a Sauv Blanc fan, but I’ve found a few that are tolerable. I, too, will follow your recommendation and try this one, if I can get my fat ass over the mountain before it is sold out.

    P.S. Your mention of the Tri-Cities Wine Society probably fell on deaf ears. To the best of my knowledge, I’m about the only one that has ever heard of Twitter. What a bunch of old farts!

    Oh, and in case you haven’t heard, Ben has a real job now, so you can lay off of him for a while…


  2. wawineman says:

    Sorry Scotty, I’m still warming up… Oh my, you’ll know it when I blow up your dartboard!

    You must be a glutton for pain. I heard that jug of saltwater will make u puke more than shit. Make a wine smoothie as a colonic…hmmm, there’s an idea.

    Sau blancs are usually just unsweetened grapefruit juice to me. This ’10 Angel shows a lot of care was put into it, just like the ’08 and ’07. I still can’t explain why the ’09 fell a couple steps behind; maybe it was a different enzyme or fermentation temp (or my imagination).

    TCWS…totally clueless wine snobs? That’s ok. Better to be clueless and have lots of money than to be hip and broke.

    Darn. Ben got a real job. Next thing we know, his blogposts will start sounding remotely intelligent and witty. Must be Rapture time…

  3. Scott Abernethy says:

    You’ve got the TCWS pegged wrong. Most are neither rich nor snobs, but that’s the perception. Much better than the former name of Enological Society. Recruiting younger members is a real challenge. I’ve invited a younger crowd to dinner tomorrow night to ply them with some good juice and a ribeye roast. Ben’s even coming to moderate the event.

    Apparently, my butt doctor is more hip than others. I got to chug 72 ounces of Gatorade in an hour, along with a whole bottle of Ducolax. Not the best cocktail I’ve ever had, but better than some wines I’ve tried…

    Be gentle on me in the future – I’m almost a virgin and very sensitive. But as perceptive as you are, that’s probably a foregone conclusion.

    Hasta la Vista, baby. I’ll be baaaaack.

  4. wawineman says:

    Of course I have the TCWS pegged wrong, but so do many others and that’s why you may have hardy challenges to recruiting the younger set. Personally, I think it’s a waste of effort. The millenials play by a different set of rules. You can feed them nice stuff at cut rate prices but all you may be attracting are the moochers. Easy come, easy go. Ask the wineries that participated in Taste Washington. Lots of freeloaders signed up but very, very few were of any sustainable value.

    If you need new blood, focus on the newly settled down couples. They generally start from ages 35-45. They’re more responsible. They more realistic and willing to try new experiences. And, they have disposable income. They are not in a desperate search for a life partner, a change of job, irresponsibly accumulating more debt, and/or consumed with trying to be hip/cool/young.

    I give you credit for trying. I wouldn’t bother. Out here, “enological societies” have a stigma of ‘old fogies’, ‘my dad’s club’, ‘stuffy old farts’, and other ‘old age’ connotations. The few youngies have formed their own ‘exclusive’ little ditties, kinda like invite-only ultra-lounges. And, I doubt they move a lotta wine bottles.

    Moral of the story is: don’t pamper your recruits too much without a sound strategy. Just my p.o.v. but I’m sure you think your time and money is better spent on more worthy targets. Yes, I am generalizing based on observations and other’s comments, but prove my extrapolation wrong. Somebody.

    Sorry Scott, being gentle is not my nature but I am versed on when to use bunker-penetrating devices of mass destruction. So try not to worry about your “almost a virgin” status. LOL. Like I told all my ex-gfs, “You will feel like you WERE a virgin after I’m done with ya.” Have a good dinner.

  5. Scott Abernethy says:

    Totally agree on the 35-45 crowd. Millenials tend not to be “joiners”, and are often not spenders! For me, the “easy come, easy go” issue is spot on. We have the same stigma and recruitment issue at the Tri-City Country Club? Either old farts, or youngsters getting some kind of a discount. We’ve reduced joining fees, offered special deals, and without any monetary commitment, they come, they play, they leave when the kid needs clothes for school. They play golf, don’t spend any money, and we that stay pay the next assessment when the Club can’t balance the books. Similar to charging inflated prices for wine to pay up for all the wine they give away, eh?

    Interestingly, the same thing happens at the Wine Festival. Very few young people, and many of them have comped tickets. Sooner or later, I’ll figure it out, quit trying, and let someone else fret about it.

  6. wawineman says:

    Isn’t that a great point about wineries jacking up prices to pay for the giveaways! That’s why I no longer support some of the wineries that the wine mooching bloggers woot about.

    And fuh-get about any wine events those bloggers hype up… I ain’t paying their ticket. Good riddens to that Sea. wine awards’ “grand tasting” with broke-ass smelliers. That blush-wine revival should be next to go… 2010 pink wines have royally sucked so far.

    On another note… found a winery that clearly does not like anything from Red Mountain AVA. Ever heard of anything like that over in your plat?

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