Nefarious Cellars 2010 Defiance Vineyard viognier

An 18 year-old Olympic hopeful skier was arrested for urinating on a sleeping 11 year-old girl during a JetBlue flight. Robert Vietze was drunk from consuming “five or six beers and two rum-and-cola cocktails” and stopped short of stumbling down the aisle to the lavatory to relieve himself. U.S. Ski Team officials followed up and then “relieved” Robert from the
development squad. A 23 year-old Florida man was arrested for standing in front of a McDonald’s. While that’s enough to nail a wine blogger in Woodinville, Owen Kato got cuffed by the po-po for… stop eating… popping the zits on his back for 10 minutes at repulsed customers. Give him some credit as he was probably just offering a little more “special sauce” on that filet-o-fish sammich. A 28 year-old Louisiana man was arrested for driving around a Wal-Mart parking lot on an obscenity charge. While that’s usually enough reason in these parts, Travis “Sean” Keen was caught exposing his pecker as he drove around the parking lot. Although “Sean” did not go into detail about why he was freebirding his puny tweeter, he must have referred to the wines (or redneck men) of Wal-Mart when the cops quoted him stating “when he comes to Wal-Mart, he gets aroused.” Sure must be nice to be named Sean. Speaking of Sean and why Anny broke-up with him, a 27 year-old Florida man was arrested for domestic battery after slapping his ex-gf. He made a comment about calling her “fat” and she responded by telling him, “I can loose fat but you can’t grow a little dick, dick fucker!” And, here’s how to know if someone grew up in Boston. If he still lives in Boston and is a victim of the economy, he says “Everybody says ‘The work is coming, the work is coming,’ but I can’t call the mortgage company and say, ‘Oh, the work’s coming.’” If he got beat up daily by Southies and had to flee to Seattle, he says “I got fired from a real job and no one will hire me so I suckered a wine commission to pay my bills after fleecing enough readers on my bogus blog. Agreed!”

A few wine enthusiasts have brought up an interesting quandary about another wine blog site that I will refer to as a “(State) wine report.” The catchy, altruistic jingle is that the blog is “an independent blog focused on bringing Washington wine…” Hold on here. Independent is defined as “not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; not subject to another’s authority; and not influenced by the thought or action of others.” Somewhere along the way when the Great Recession took hold in the Puget Sound area, that blog’s author lost his primary means of making money and has yet to find a meaningful replacement within that same industry. After draining his life savings and moving to cheaper pastures, we now find said author is getting paid by the local wine commission to overhype selected wines and wineries.

Most wine bloggers knew of this seedy transition into the industry but no one dared “ruffle the feathers” of Big Papi wine commission as to jeopardize their free tickets and free wine. This is how one knows a wine blogger is “on the take.” Money controls them as they certainly appear to drink a lot of wine, but the reality is the wines were comp’d (sometimes with the blessing of the commission); thus, the wine blogger is then obligated to write a favorable review and dupe their readers into recommending the wine, hence driving up sales. Hypothetically, it’s supposed to work. The reality is, despite all the asexual tweets and buttered-up reviews, social media does NOT significantly drive wine sales. In other words, it’s a nearly complete hoax. Snake oil. Smoke-and-mirrors. A sloppy Criss Angel.

So, the next time you see that wine blogger, ask him “How much have you been compensated by the wine commission so far this year?” and get ready for the spins and lies about to spew your way. And, tell him to update his rah-rah rhyme to this: “(State) wine report is a (State) wine commission-influenced blog where we bring selected reviews of wines and wineries (mostly Walla Walla) to you. I have to censor the content and not present a fair and full picture because you readers are too incompetent to judge for yourself.” Haven’t you been duped enough by this dood?

From the dark side, really, I don’t know why a blog author is so reluctant to admit he/she has been paid as an employee/vendor/consultant by such a large marketing organization. If this blog was getting paid by Big Papi, it would be clearly obvious and proudly displayed. Where is the shame? Why wait until it shows up in an independent audit? Spinning the facts while fronting a “clean image” is a clear sign of a passive-aggressive trait, which is consistent with my previous observations. And why is Big Papi being so insidious with hiding the fact that they underhandedly pay a few wine bloggers to promote their agenda? Something else is going on that they do not want drinkers of Washington wine to know about.

To the wine…

Nefarious Cellars is a Lake Chelan winery and you can read their story on their winery website, as there is nothing more I can add to it at this time.

Food pairing was breaded chicken cutlet. Nothing special but not bad either.

Tasted at 43-59 degrees (best below 55) on the IR temp gun. Color: luminescent lemon with some bubbles. Nose: peach, lemon crème. Mouthfeel: acid bite. Tail trail: 4 seconds. Flavors: orange, grapefruit, pear, wine diamonds.

Alcohol: 13.1%. Estate-grown Defiance Vineyard (2 acres). Lake Chelan AVA. Rated: 89. Value: $14. Paid: $17. Music pairing: “Heartbreak Hotel” by Elvis Presley. This is WAwineman…uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.

postscript: Elvis Presley passed away on August 16, 1977.

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9 Responses to Nefarious Cellars 2010 Defiance Vineyard viognier

  1. Have we spoken lately?? Did I tell you about the Proletariat Bordeaux Blend that Sean Boyd found and squeezed into his kegs realizing he was filling it up with barberesco and not Cab, merlot and cab franc? the (State) Report of Wines posted on FB the other day a fine review about it. Ed, I’ve had this wine. I had before it came out on the shelves (in this case the coolers). It SUCKS!! it’s SOOOO BAD, I couldn’t even sip it a second time. I asked that blogger, “setting aside everyone you know, what do you really think about it?” and here’s his response, right from my FB / Twitter. “For $9.50 a glass, it’s a solid red and I’d have another glass”. BULLSHIT!. IT SUCKS dude!!. Get off your throne and just blog, post and talk about real wine. not some hoochie jungle juice that come out of a keg and pretend to love it. What a joke. That truly made me think twice about that report. And I don’t mind talking about it, like you. We say what we want. Personally I don’t care what others think of me. I had a Terrible wine this weekend at Va Piano in Walla Walla. Spend millions on your “wine studio” and spend dimes on your wines. that’s smart. I hope they get their shit straight soon because the property is beautiful and I’d hate to see it go to waste. The current winemaker’s super cool and I know it’s NOT his fault. It was the past winemakers. That’s the problem.

    See what I mean? I’m sure you get it.

    This was your Captain Speaking.

    Captain Premier 5000

    PS: I still need to be “allowed” to follow you on Twitter. Please.

  2. wawineman says:

    I salute you, Captain!
    You so eloquently provided a perfect example of what I was trying to deliver.
    Why would any wine blogger intentionally deceive his/her readers? To gain “status” with wineries? To gain a paycheck from the wine commission?
    Is it really worth it to sell-out so blatantly? I guess he thinks so, since it pays for his moldy, crusty shoebox of an apartment. Individuals of such absent-character and desperation are so easily bought. Sad.

    PS: I thought it got fixed? I’ll ask around again. Hope you enjoyed that Hendricks gin at The Lookout!
    PPS: You heard about the winemaker who dove, naked, into his syrah tank to stop a leak and later ended up selling that wine? Awesome!

  3. wawineman says:

    Glad to see Michele Bachmann reads this blog.
    “Before we get started, let’s all say ‘Happy Birthday’ to Elvis today.”,0,6393817.story


  4. Captain Premier 5000 says:

    The Hendricks was great. Totally refreshing. Way to put my Foursquare and LetsPour tweets together. 2 2 = Gin at the Lookout. Ever been there Ed? Trivia night on tuesdays is very challenging. This week it was medicine and Phx. Coulda used you. My medic history wasn’t enough.

    Captain Premier 5000

  5. Okay, I’ll weigh in lightly on this discussion. I was hoping for a little more information on Nefarious or the Viognier since it was one of the wineries I missed on our May whirlwind tour. I’m surprised you didn’t finish your brief description with, “Such a nice wine!”.

  6. wawineman says:

    El Capitan,
    Gonna try that Hendricks.
    Don’t know much about medics and Phx, but I am sorta well-versed on stds. Don’t ask how I know but let’s just say one never forgets that first kiss from a penicillin shot…

  7. wawineman says:

    Sorry about that.
    I only allot a specific limit of time to each post and so you can thank that douchebag for swallowing all of it.
    OMG Ab…*BOOM* ! That was an epic finish from ya. A pleasant surprise! uh…”Indeed!”
    (gawd, that sounds so phreakin’ limp.)

  8. Limp?? you talkin’ about one so blogger? Hey, ever hear about the 100 pt. Charles K Syrah with 17.2 alc and a pH level of 4.3? Big Papi has. I’m wondering how compromised these two love birds are? How do you rate a wine that’s so awkward and dominant against other 13.8 to 14.8 wines and possibly better, a 100?? Jesus man, check your palate or get a life.

    As one smart blogger has always said, “…the sooner more consumers learn to trust their own palate, the better.” Duane Pemberton – WineFoot

    PS: Tell me about this winemaker’s plunge into his own tank.

    Captain Premier 5000

  9. wawineman says:

    Captain P5k,
    Oddly, I think Charlie wines do us all a favor. If the quantitatives are such, and the price paid is in the triple digits (and it sells out), then Charley did all of us a favor by gouging all the score chasers.
    Your pal, Duane, sounds like a theoretical philosopher who chases after a wine-topia. His words can be applied to food, yet fast food chains still rule the landscape. Applied to beer, but we still have “the high life”ubiquitously found in every convenience store coolers. He should stop romancing the little girls/boys and wake up to the realities of today’s economy…unless his audience is little girls/boys. This is the same guy that once called a wine tweet-up something on par to a “clusterfuck” or “orgy”, yet he ended up joining those same wine scouts of central valley. I think he has a future as a Catholic priest.
    Here’s my profile of someone who buys a 17.2/4.3 wine: drives a second-hand BMW, the ‘one-up’ guy in a conversation, the ‘Hey guys, wait for me. I’m your leader” assclown, and the most searing quality trait– will backstab and step on anyone to get ahead. His future lies somewhere between an urban hermit and being required to register on some federal sex offender list.

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