An 18 year-old Olympic hopeful skier was arrested for urinating on a sleeping 11 year-old girl during a JetBlue flight. Robert Vietze was drunk from consuming “five or six beers and two rum-and-cola cocktails” and stopped short of stumbling down the aisle to the lavatory to relieve himself. U.S. Ski Team officials followed up and then “relieved” Robert from the
development squad. A 23 year-old Florida man was arrested for standing in front of a McDonald’s. While that’s enough to nail a wine blogger in Woodinville, Owen Kato got cuffed by the po-po for… stop eating… popping the zits on his back for 10 minutes at repulsed customers. Give him some credit as he was probably just offering a little more “special sauce” on that filet-o-fish sammich. A 28 year-old Louisiana man was arrested for driving around a Wal-Mart parking lot on an obscenity charge. While that’s usually enough reason in these parts, Travis “Sean” Keen was caught exposing his pecker as he drove around the parking lot. Although “Sean” did not go into detail about why he was freebirding his puny tweeter, he must have referred to the wines (or redneck men) of Wal-Mart when the cops quoted him stating “when he comes to Wal-Mart, he gets aroused.” Sure must be nice to be named Sean. Speaking of Sean and why Anny broke-up with him, a 27 year-old Florida man was arrested for domestic battery after slapping his ex-gf. He made a comment about calling her “fat” and she responded by telling him, “I can loose fat but you can’t grow a little dick, dick fucker!” And, here’s how to know if someone grew up in Boston. If he still lives in Boston and is a victim of the economy, he says “Everybody says ‘The work is coming, the work is coming,’ but I can’t call the mortgage company and say, ‘Oh, the work’s coming.’” If he got beat up daily by Southies and had to flee to Seattle, he says “I got fired from a real job and no one will hire me so I suckered a wine commission to pay my bills after fleecing enough readers on my bogus blog. Agreed!”
A few wine enthusiasts have brought up an interesting quandary about another wine blog site that I will refer to as a “(State) wine report.” The catchy, altruistic jingle is that the blog is “an independent blog focused on bringing Washington wine…” Hold on here. Independent is defined as “not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; not subject to another’s authority; and not influenced by the thought or action of others.” Somewhere along the way when the Great Recession took hold in the Puget Sound area, that blog’s author lost his primary means of making money and has yet to find a meaningful replacement within that same industry. After draining his life savings and moving to cheaper pastures, we now find said author is getting paid by the local wine commission to overhype selected wines and wineries.
Most wine bloggers knew of this seedy transition into the industry but no one dared “ruffle the feathers” of Big Papi wine commission as to jeopardize their free tickets and free wine. This is how one knows a wine blogger is “on the take.” Money controls them as they certainly appear to drink a lot of wine, but the reality is the wines were comp’d (sometimes with the blessing of the commission); thus, the wine blogger is then obligated to write a favorable review and dupe their readers into recommending the wine, hence driving up sales. Hypothetically, it’s supposed to work. The reality is, despite all the asexual tweets and buttered-up reviews, social media does NOT significantly drive wine sales. In other words, it’s a nearly complete hoax. Snake oil. Smoke-and-mirrors. A sloppy Criss Angel.
So, the next time you see that wine blogger, ask him “How much have you been compensated by the wine commission so far this year?” and get ready for the spins and lies about to spew your way. And, tell him to update his rah-rah rhyme to this: “(State) wine report is a (State) wine commission-influenced blog where we bring selected reviews of wines and wineries (mostly Walla Walla) to you. I have to censor the content and not present a fair and full picture because you readers are too incompetent to judge for yourself.” Haven’t you been duped enough by this dood?
From the dark side, really, I don’t know why a blog author is so reluctant to admit he/she has been paid as an employee/vendor/consultant by such a large marketing organization. If this blog was getting paid by Big Papi, it would be clearly obvious and proudly displayed. Where is the shame? Why wait until it shows up in an independent audit? Spinning the facts while fronting a “clean image” is a clear sign of a passive-aggressive trait, which is consistent with my previous observations. And why is Big Papi being so insidious with hiding the fact that they underhandedly pay a few wine bloggers to promote their agenda? Something else is going on that they do not want drinkers of Washington wine to know about.
To the wine…
Nefarious Cellars is a Lake Chelan winery and you can read their story on their winery website, as there is nothing more I can add to it at this time.
Food pairing was breaded chicken cutlet. Nothing special but not bad either.
Tasted at 43-59 degrees (best below 55) on the IR temp gun. Color: luminescent lemon with some bubbles. Nose: peach, lemon crème. Mouthfeel: acid bite. Tail trail: 4 seconds. Flavors: orange, grapefruit, pear, wine diamonds.
Alcohol: 13.1%. Estate-grown Defiance Vineyard (2 acres). Lake Chelan AVA. Rated: 89. Value: $14. Paid: $17. Music pairing: “Heartbreak Hotel” by Elvis Presley. This is WAwineman…uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.
postscript: Elvis Presley passed away on August 16, 1977.