Looks like Greg P. Utt was recently scented, err… spotted… guh, seen traversing through a Berlin airport after travelers there complained of a skunky, cat-pee like smell. 53 people were sickened by the stench wafting from a men’s bathroom where janitors later found empty bottles of “sample” cabernet wines from Mosel littered on the diaper-changing station next to a steaming pile of poo artfully splayed on a Depends underwear. His traveling companion, who we interviewed after she returned to her pasture at Waitsburg Dairy Farm, wondered what the problem was as his breath (and words) always smell that way… *silence from the audience* tsk. A 71 year-old Florida man was arrested after he entered a Democratic Party office and threw a penny at the staff as he declared that it was all he had left after being taxed by President Obama. In a typical flip-flop maneuver, he later posted $1000 bond and was released. This was similar to Paul Gwine’s earlier foray into Woodinville’s warehouse district where, at every winery he visited, he demanded bottles of each winery’s “best wines” for sampling back at his rented stall in Waitsburg should any winery even think of being mentioned in his fish-wrap column, then drove to that 100-point winery in Snohomish to pay a hundred-sumting for one lousy bottle of 200%-oaked cabernet. The Woodinville wine police were notified and have issued an APB for the wonkster’s arrest. *crickets* tsk. Speaking of Walla Walla-loving critters, a 20 year-old ex-con was arrested at a gun show after attempting to buy a firearm without the required paperwork. In typical Walla Walla intelligence, the felon tried to purchase pistols at a booth manned by an off-duty State Patrol officer. Other officers recognized the man as being wanted on an outstanding warrant and quickly apprehended the fool. Now, if only these officers were keen enough to monitor the Walla Walla tasting rooms for raisin’d wine bloggers requesting cases of free wine for “review” purposes… *audience emulates a Nytol commercial* tsk. Looks like Tim Tebow, the Jets backup quarterback, has decided to trademark his “Tebowing” position after learning about the profitability of “PG-ing” where a crunky old fart in a faded faux-Hawaiian shirt routinely makes off with cases of overpriced wines from lame wineries after intimidating the noob tasting room attendant with “Don’t you know who I am?” followed by his ass-smelling breath. When one wise rookie questioned the credentials, PG retorted with “Listen, I don’t always pursue a career in bad writing and lazy sex, but when I do, I make sure I suck at both.” *Hooray!* *Agreed!* And lastly, a Bay Area high school was found to have a “Fantasy Slut League” competition amongst its students. Officials discovered several varsity-level athletes were scoring points for “documented engagement in sexual activities.” This was later found to be a copycat action from Seattle’s own “Fantasy Wine Blogging Sluts League.” Current leaders, Sean and Jameson, vehemently denied the accusation before returning to their ratty love sofa they bought from Value Village and engaging in social media foreplay, retweeting each other’s asexual comments. RT @asexualwinereport “Dear Bloggers. You stink. Love, Sean.”
When we last visited Butch and Jerry, they were establishing their own label using grapes raised from their twelve vineyards. These farmers were in the middle of a plan to control the ground-to-glass production of Washington wine and the prime beneficiary would be consumers in our great State. While other “sexy” wineries continue to rape the paradigm that Washington produces great value wines, the Milbrandts have steadfastly defended the jingle by attentive farming, small lot attention to large vats of wines, and competitive pricing. I mean, seriously… $140 for a bottle of syrah??? And, looking at our own backyard, there are a lot of bottles selling for $30+ for what tastes like a $15 wine. To top that off, those few $15 wines listed on the big board in tasting rooms are starting to taste rather odd, on par with bottom-shelf dwellers at the supermarket. Such is the current state on 144th Ave NE. The folks in Walla Walla wouldn’t understand as they’re used to shit-smelling wines priced above $40.
Had a comment that I “juiced” the review of Chris Cary’s homemade riesling. Hmm. Quick response: go fuck yourself. Ask this: what was my incentive for doing so? Sure, he comp’d the bottle to one of my associates but little did anyone know that the bottle was exchanged for someone’s Ciel du Cheval red wine AND a bottle of… well, if you read his final review, you would know. It was that bottle, and it wasn’t cheap, brutha.
But, fine. So, we dug up some commercially made 2009 rieslings to make a fair comparison. Not too many left on the shelves but found this one tucked deep behind a newer vintage.
Food pairing was garlic bread and instant spaghetti. Stretching the latitude of what a riesling can do and it is a good option for non-red wine drinkers.
Tasted at 47-54 degrees on the IR temp gun. Color: very light straw. Nose: apple, yellow flowers. Mouthfeel: thin, on life support. Tail trail: 4 seconds. Flavors: apple, light citrus, peach, dried apricot, lime. Acids: medium. Alcohol: medium. Finish: medium (-). RS guessed at 1%.
Alcohol: 12.5% (website: 12.1%). 100% riesling. Columbia Valley AVA. Stelvin cap. Harvested Sept. 30, 2009. TA 0.79%. pH 3.02. Fermented and aged in stainless steel. RS 1.4%.
Power: 1/5. Balance: 2/5. Depth: 1/5. Finesse: 1/5. Rated: 85. Value: $5. Paid: $12. Music pairing: “Here I Am Alive” by Yellowcard. This is WAwineman… uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.