Efeste 2012 Evergreen riesling

Apparently, the local foodies have picked up where the wine bloggers have left off…
A man streamed into a Green Lake pizzeria and threatened employees if his friend didn’t get his free pizza. When an employee went to check on the freebie recipient, he got a payment of a knife in the back before his assailant fled. So… this is what Walla Walla wineries have to deal with when that wine extortionist, Paul Gwine, walks into their winery and demands free bottles of their “best wines.” A little southwest in the hipster heights of Ballard, a man flew into a rage after finding out he had to pay 25 cents for a THIRD packet of ranch dressing at the local Jerk In The Box. A 68 year-old fossil offered to pay to quit the commotion, but got a faceful of hand and was pushed to the ground by the perp as he fled in a manly purple bicycle. This reminds me of the time Paul walked into my tasting room and wanted to leave with three of my best, single vineyard reserve bottles but I told him he had to pay for that 3rd bottle. Instead, he dropped ragged, stained pants and flashed his skidmarked baggy undies at the wedding party I was entertaining before walking off and slamming his banjo into my framed Whine Spectator award. Into the heart of downtown where a Chipotle employee wished a departing customer a fond farewell only to get a surprise requite of a glass bottle of hot sauce thwacked off his face. This reminds me of all the loopy wine bloggers who have passed through the doors of the tasting room, coming off as some sort of fast-talking wine expert, soaking me up with all sorts of sappy flattery, only to end with a punchline of “I really like your lineup of wines. Think you can give me a case of your wines for a fabulous review on my blog?” That’s when I flash the lame dud my Glock and kick the freeloading bastard out with a simple warning that he will be arrested for violating RCW 9A.56.050.

Speaking of dick eaters, it’s been awhile since we last heard from our usual band of wine blogging fools. Something about their unemployable benefits expiring. Anywho, we culled the social media sites to find out what they have been up to and now, we offer to you, the summer collection of their most idiotic tweets and FB statuses, status sez, whatever…:

Sean: Just got back from Boston. You know what’s awkward about family reunions? Seeing all your exs… lmao.
Paul: What are you, dating cousins or something?

Sean: What if the person who will cure cancer in the future is swimming in my testicles at this moment? Whoa…
Jameson: And to think, you’re just gonna masturbate him down the drain… lmao…

Shona: Fictional creatures– Santa, Easter Bunny, a man who will sleep with me…

Margot: My only interests are drinking free wine and judging people.

Cheryl: I did it! I jogged about a mile and a half, nonstop. I pushed myself and seceded.
Rod: From the Union?
Cheryl: what union?

Wineman: Breaking news– Sean just announced he is bisexual.
Josh: Ugh. That reminds me of the time my deodorant ran out mid-application and the store didn’t have the same scent. I had one armpit that smelled like Sport and one that smelled like Rainfall. I was… bi-scentual.

Anny: Honey, are you ready for sexytime?
Sean: Forget sex… just scratch my back under my bra straps.

Sean: unusual scrotum smell
Sean: oh wait, this isn’t google.
Sean: How do you delete this?
Eugene: haha, ur funny…
Chris: Yuck.
Paul: Glad to know…

Babs: Do you think humans will ever walk on the sun?
Sean: Well, if they do, it would have to be at night.

Jen: Pro tip: Quickest way to make money at photography is to sell your camera. You’re welcome.

Caylee: My boyfriend won’t have sex with me anymore so I masturbated with a cucumber and served it in his salad for dinner.

Sean: Part of the reason I’m dating my girlfriend is because I actually like how big her butt looks in those jeans.

Clive: Sodomy is an abominable sin.
Sean: But it feels so good!

Sean: Here’s my poem for our anniversary– “Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs, and give me an hour.”
Anny: Wtf??? Are you trying to be romantic again?
Sean: ok ok. How’s this? “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m using my hand, but thinking of you.”
Anny: I’m outta here…
Sean: No, wait! My last effort… “Roses are red, violets are blue, poems are hard, so is my penis.”
Anny: Stop drinking Walla Walla wine, you dumbass!

Sean: Why is life so complicated?
Paul: What’s so complicated? You have no wife. No kids. No mortgage. No car loan. Not even a real job. All you do is sip free wine and write bullshit for some obscure wine-themed magazine. You’re a LOSER. Deal with it.

Sean: Guys, imma lay it out on the line here… I’m an ass, and because of this most people don’t like me. I’m not what a lot of men should be and I never claim to be anything less. I do have a small penis and am a bitch to those who do not kowtow to me. I’m not good at telling the truth and everything I say is punctuated with a ‘Hooray!’ or ‘Pretty!’ or ‘Agreed!’ And, yeah I probably should work on making sure that it sounds like I’m honest but I really don’t know how to. I’m sorry if I’ve ever said anything that comes off as a recommendation on a wine (unless you have just as low a self-esteem problem like I do, in that case I hope you wasted your money on a shitty wine) as it was not my intention.
Antoine: I stopped reading after “I’m an ass”

Efeste continues in good hands with Peter Devison, formerly of the Precept conglomerate, after the departure of Brennan Leighton to the Charles Smith camp in 2012. This riesling is among the first to be fully vinted by Mr. Devison for Efeste and the results prove the Evergreen lineage continues to be one of Woodinville’s best rieslings.

If you tour Woodinville enough, you will come to the belief that riesling in this wine district displays the strongest rieslings in all of Washington. And, rightfully so with the Evil Empire anchored at NE 145th, making over a million cases of all types of riesling. So, on your next foray into Woodinville, don’t skip the riesling pour at your friendly industrial tasting room, especially with the splendid 2012s now on tap, or you will miss a taste of the old days.

Wild pairing with fresh pig ear salad and soy-marinated pork belly burger. Worked well with some new sensations not previously experienced.

Tasted at 53-66 degrees on the IR temp gun. A visually pleasing light yellow gold with aromas of honeysuckle, peach, and lime. Taste it and feel the gentle acids scrubbing the palate then leaving a polish of peach, kiwi, and Granny Smith apple of excellent duration.

Alcohol: 12.8%. Evergreen Vineyard. Columbia Valley AVA. “Harvested late-October (23rd). Whole-cluster pressed and cold settled for 48 hrs. Racked off solids and fermented with R-HST and VIN13 yeast strains. Fermentation duration of 4 weeks, controlled between 55 and 57 degrees F. Lightly fined and cold stabilized on ferment lees. Top filtered off lees and bottled in late January, 2013.” pH 3.05. TA 0.89%. RS 1.05% (guessed 0.5-1%). Power: 2/5. Balance: 3/5. Depth: 2/5. Finesse: 3/5. Rated: 90. Music pairing: “Love Me Right” by Swag Geeks. Value: $20. Paid $20. This is WAwineman… uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.

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9 Responses to Efeste 2012 Evergreen riesling

  1. csabernethy says:

    Finally recovered your cruise, eh? I thought maybe I had fallen off of your mailing list.

    Riesling. The white wine everyone loves to hate (but it will never replace “ABC”). I’ve found that I should never take Riesling to a dinner party unless I plan on drinking it all – which I have done. Everyone expects sweet, flabby swill best served over ice. I don’t know if it was the vintage or simply an adjustment to the standard procedure for making the wine, but I have tasted several 2012 Rieslings that I found most enjoyable. Many were lower alcohol wines, where I could drink the whole bottle and get away with it! I have a friend who has a relative that is a member at Efeste and I often get to taste their wines, but he has never shared a Riesling with me. I will have to twist his arm a little bit.

    I’m still trying to fit in my fall trip to Seattle to visit my Dad. What’s happening in Woodinville over the next few weeks? I’m supporting but not on the Wine Festival steering committee this year so I have a little more free time. I think it will be a very good festival this year – as good as or better than last year’s. You can see the current list of wineries signed up on our website. List is still building, but probably will have about 70 wineries when the dust settles.

    Still waiting for you to do a review on Cooper Riesling. Will that be happening any time soon?

  2. wawineman says:

    Ab,
    Yeah, that took some time to recover from, but not regretting it.

    Riesling. A wine only geeks in the Northwest could embrace. And, bully for us as the 2012s are punching well above their weight. I have gone through my rotation in Woodinville and life is good again. I was getting annoyed with retailers spinning the 2010s and 2011s with recycled b.s. just to sell wine, but they were hiding the truth. And, the truth was and still is, skip ’em. Some knucklenuts are whooping up how they are finding deals at the local warehouse clubs, but haven’t bothered to figure out WHY those Jajas are there in the first place.

    Efeste survived a winemaker change mostly unscathed. The whole lineup is excellent, with the Klipsun Vineyard merlot being the best overall among this year’s releases there. The prices are creeping up but are still a decent value.

    Woodinville is finally calming down after a massive harvest. Had over 20 tons come in this past week. Fermenters are full. 2013 will surpass 2012 in quality and could be the new “best” vintage of the millennium, likely scoring 96-98 on some doofus’s vintage charts.

    Git your butt over to this side and visit pops. I’ll be around and you know how to find me.

    Let’s hope the TCWS picks up as it only can with back-to-back bullseye vintages. If the same wineries are participating, I will go out on a limb and predict Coyote Canyon will be the big winner this year. It’s about time Mike Andrews gets some recognition and this is the year. And, the wine that will get him to the top will be the 2010 grenache or 2009 red wine.

    I have been holding back on Coop’s wines for a private reason, but like as if he needs any more recognition from wine bloggers. He’ll put on a private shindig soon, of which I will be in attendance so he will bring out his best wines for my distinct pleasure… (8

  3. csabernethy says:

    Coyote Canyon has always shown very well and they usually enter a lot of wines, so their chances are good. Some other wineries to watch that are back this year are Basalt Cellars (who?), Brian Carter, Cultura, Cooper, Five Star, and Smasne. Again, there are several new wineries I have never heard of or tasted, so it should be fun this year. We’re up to 67 wineries. I hope they cut it off at 70. You should try to make it over!

  4. wawineman says:

    Trying to clear time for it! I think there is no other celebration that is better at presenting the mid-section of mostly unhyped Washington wines than TCWF. I’ll root for Vineheart since it’s like impossible to find their wines here but Pat is such a strong woman.

    • csabernethy says:

      Unfortunately, Vineheart has not come to the Festival the last three years. They did very well the last time they entered.You’re right – their wines are getting pretty hard to find.

  5. wawineman says:

    Well, that sucks…
    Maybe Chris “Harry” Cary will debut his long-awaited wines.
    You know what would have been fun? Having a giant monitor or screen somewhere in the middle of all the commotion where they post real-time comments from the public, using a platform like Twitter and hashtagging “tcwf2013” like they did at that “other” wine event here. That, or have an entertaining emcee continuously chatting up the wines and slipping in some jokes as he/she walks through the crowd interviewing anyone. It would help to have a cutie sidekick also. #justsayin
    If Coop’s in, then watch out. He may sweep.

  6. Winemaker of Mass Destruction says:

    Hey Brah,

    You did not put the price paid and price worth per bottle on this post.

    Also, with regards to “I really like your lineup of wines. Think you can give me a case of your wines for a fabulous review on my blog?”
    I prefer to live by RCW 66.28.040

    W.M.D

  7. wawineman says:

    Damm WMD!

    Thought I could get away with it. After all, my ready-made excuse was that it’s been awhile, but ain’t no way you guys would have bought it.

    Ah… pulling the RCW 66.28.040 gig. Okay Kojak, I trump you with this excerpt from your stated Revised Code: “… nothing in this section prevents … a domestic winery…from furnishing wine without charge to a not-for-profit group organized and operated solely for the purpose of enology… and that uses wine furnished solely for such educational purposes.”

    Just say “NO and GTFO!”

    So, while we are on the subject… show me where the law specifically allows donations of wine to for-profit organizations such as wine magazines.

    Your move, sir.

  8. Winemaker of Mass Destruction says:

    Removal of wine for comps, zines, exhibitions, etc. is Federal Law.
    See 27 CFR 24.75 – Wine for personal or family use (part d)
    http://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/text-idx?SID=47a4b6bbb6ae04a34d4a1a58ffa78116&node=27:1.0.1.1.19&rgn=div5#27:1.0.1.1.19.3.332.35

    I just remove a two paragraph diatribe in favor of just leaving the reply as is.

    W.M.D

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