Kirkland Signature 2012 Columbia Valley merlot

On assignment with another beverage but this has been a request-in-demand so here it is because in the natural process of selecting wines to review, we choose which wines will interest our readers the most, leaving behind other wines that may have a “bigger” name and advertising budget and doped up reviews on other bogus publications but too afraid to be screened naked here.

Some have said our reviews are not “liquid” enough to be referenced, but like any fine wine, we choose to be a “colloid” and let time and our cold April temperatures impact our wine review philosophy. Having leeches like Sean and the Gutless one filter our thoughts removes the neutrality and unbiased opinions that impact the quality of this blog. We choose to avoid the mumps and measles of the Washington wine industry.

Which is a reminder… If you haven’t already done so, vaccinate your rugrats (and yourself) before we catch one of their repugnant diseases! Last thing we need after a shopping blitz at Bellevue Square is a free gift of the plague on an escalator rubber handrest left by some snot-nosed punkass whose vegan mom with the saggy, unbalanced fake tits and Botox’d nosejob doesn’t believe in vaccines.

Tasted at 57-67 degrees on the IR temp gun. Color: garnet-rimmed dark magenta. Nose: black cherry, novice toast, raspberry, boysenberry. Mouthfeel: light medium-bodied. Tail trail: 9 seconds. Flavors: burnt black fruits, cloves, menthol.

Alcohol: 14.5%. Thousands of cases. Still contracted by DC Flynt MW Selections down in Paterson, WA. Further proof that one can be on top of the wine geek world and still make blah wine. On the flip side, this is about as good a nine-dollar Washington wine as you will find today. Blame the 2012 vintage for lifting this to acceptable levels.

Thousands of cases on sale now, but will be gone within a month as there are many a trailer-park weddings going on now through July 4. Power: 2/5. Balance: 1/5. Depth: 2/5. Finesse: 2/5. Rated: 87. Value: $10. Paid: $8.99. Love the bullshit on the back label… “round tannins… intense flavors… plum and cassis…” This is WAwineman… uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.

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