All hail the San Antonio Spurs for destroying the M.I.A.-mi Ice to win it all! Tim Duncan should be worshipped like Larry Bird and Bill Russell, unlike the buy-a-title of Wade and LeBum James. That’s now four titles in nine years, and counting. Another old dog bites the dust as Casey Kasem finally kicked the bucket earlier Sunday right here in the Puget Sound after ushering in the modern pop era as host of a radio show called “American Top 40.” Most of us don’t know why anyone would be so glued to a radio box but, I guess, back in the day, that was the only way to get a dose of popular tunes. Kinda sad how that generation grew up– I mean, look at their phones with the round, numerical dial and that bulky music file storage system called… 8-track, that’s about the size of my tablet. Speaking of tablet, back then it was something you swallowed to correct some malady (see Paul Gregutt and his anti-diarrheals that’s really for his mouth). And, what the hell was up with the antennas on the tv? And those tvs… looked like mini-refrigerators! And what was up with all that music they called ‘disco’ and the outlandish fashions that mutated from it? But, let’s look at the bright side… that was the decade of the pimp-mobile. The Delta 88, Grand Torino, Ford LTD, AMC Ambassador, etc. Bitches love cruisin’ in a pimp-mobile. Oh yeah, and then they had this thing called “drive-ins” where, on the outside, it was an open-air movie theater but on the inside, it was backseat applied sex-education on crushed Corinthian leather. Yeah, try doing that in your Uber or Lyft. Oh yes, and let’s not forget the decade’s greatest invention… Pop Rocks. Sure, its for kids but try giving a pouch of that to your honey just as she’s about to give you a bj. You haven’t lived until you tried it. #justsayin
Oh look, the wine blogging klan has nominated their asexual (and not attending) compatriots for several awards similar to Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Choice statues. Like who gives a flying fuck about wine bloggers?? These attention-starved, no-talent-in-a-real-field-that-pays-well, self-absorbed, butt-leaking lepers only care about being different and contradicting everyone else, all the while trying to score free wines in return for cheesy, hyped-up words. These half-wit fistulas, when not deworming their innards, seek recognition like some A-lister in the wine industry even though they have no business even associating with the many great and hardworking winemakers who make their living crafting their wines, then becoming a leech to the successes of the wineries. New wine bloggers know this– NOBODY cares what you think. Old wine bloggers know this– only your fake friends, who are forced to read your crap, stroke your ego because you quiz them despite you all having the exact same opinion that was forged by the fat smellier with the big title. And, converted wine bloggers from those weakass small-town newspapers– you weren’t good enough for Wine Expectorator and you’re still not good enough for Generation Me. Give it up, pick up a banjo, name your band Asshat (Yes I’m a) Asshat, and go sling it at some rural dive bar in the wheat fields.
Dolan & Weiss Cellars of Walla Walla is part of the con-glamourate of the Longshadows group of wineries that contract with all-star winemakers from around the world. One walkthrough their tasting room and you know where these wines want to be found… in the burled, dark wooded living rooms of overcompensated executives. And, the wines do deliver.
Julia’s Dazzle used to be a cult-find rose wine, partly due to its unique bottle shape that later becomes a serviceable, elegant vase. The 2013 version, thankfully, can be found everywhere these days, even at the gas station, but the quality is still there. The mystique is no longer, however.
This is a single-vineyard pinot grigio from The Benches vineyard near the Wallula Gap in the prehistoric section of the Horse Heaven Hills AVA.
Tasted at 48-56 degrees on the IR temp gun. Color: Yukon Chinook salmon. Nose: apple blossom, strawberry, peachberry. Mouthfeel: dazzling acids. Tail trail: 5 seconds. Flavors: peach cream, Granny Smith apple, melon, whack of grapefruit, tangerine dream, pineapple, pinch of baking spices. Wonderful with pesto pizza and garlic cheese bread.
Alcohol: 13.7%. No website. Power: 2/5. Balance: 3/5. Depth: 3/5. Finesse: 2/5. Rated: 90. Value: $20. Paid: $13. Music pairing: “Mama Told Me Not To Come” by Three Dog Night. This is WAwineman… uncorked and doing it right.