Ashan Cellars 2013 Columbia Valley chardonnay

A lot of strange quotes from local social media bloggers lately. Must be the change in seasons…

After looking at her extra fat face on a Twitter post–
Chris: “Are you pregnant?”
Shona: “Um no.”

A sign in the bathroom at Kealla Winery’s tasting room:
“Enter as strangers, leave as friends”

Sean posted a selfie with his eyes closed–
“My face when I’m moaning and thinking about Paul. #pleasure”

MarGot posting a selfie on Instagram:
“Love my hair today. Hate why I’m dressed up. #funeral”

Then, there’s Paul Gutless who took out a billboard on Wallingford Ave. N:
“All I Want For Christmas Is A 40-Something College Dropout Whitey From Boston Who Thinks He Knows Wine.”

Been a crazy two weeks with a recent visit by the leader of a one-party nation that suppresses free speech. Then came the announcement that my homeboy, Yogi Berra, passed away. If you don’t know who he was, just remember him as the greatest catcher in baseball ever to play the game. If your favorite catcher is Johnny Bench, Mike Piazza, Jason Varitek, or Ivan Rodriguez… you don’t know baseball, dood. Millenials may know the man for his Yogi-isms, but then again, millenials are also into buying 400 sq. ft. “homes” in the city for $200,000+. My ex-gf’s twat was larger than that (and just as expensive).

Heard around Woodinville: Lou Facelli of his own winery is retiring. He is selling his remaining stock as well as his operations and will retire to a pastural villa near Tuscany. Salute, Louie!

Also, word’s out that Betz’s $135 cabernet sold out so completely that no one was able to score a tasting at the recent release party. But, don’t worry, readers… this blog is in negotiations to acquire a bottle from a source of unknown provenance. Stay tuned. The question to you is… review this now or when the winery says the wine has hit it’s peak drinking window?

What is going on with the “new” Columbia Winery lately? The tasting fee costs more than half of the old lineup of full wine bottles. The patrons are mostly tourists who have no clue what a great wine tastes like, and there’s live music down in the barrel room. And, the prices of the wines are on par with the better local wineries. What gives? A recent tasting showed that the wines are still the same old ten-dollar mehs. Is it sentimental to suggest that we miss the old Chateau-Columbia rivalry? Looks like the Chat outlasted its rival on this one. Oh Chat…

Ashan Cellars sells a trio of single-vineyard chardonnays at $45. Keep your comments to yourself but we all know… This one’s done in stainless with a Stelvin cap and can be found under $15 at finer wine stores in the area. Why winemakers want to embrace California-priced chardonnay here is beyond any reasonable wine consumer’s sensibilities. Maybe they’re bored with making great reds? Maybe they’re showing up all those Napa Valley tourists. Or maybe, we have an ego problem of inferiority. Who cares? If nutjobs want to part with $500 for one bottle of cabernet, then let them. Those who think California wines are the end-all likely sport two-inch pricks and store kiddie porn on their tower pc’s.

Delightful with Ezell’s original fried chicken.

Tasted at 58-61 degrees on the IR temp gun. Bright light straw with a full-bodied spectrum of zesty, spiny, and glowing fruit. Grapefruit, pear, banana, apple, orange zest, minerally bubbles, and quiet lemon.

Alcohol: 13.5%. Hundreds of cases. Perfect for the summer days and autumn evenings. Power: 2/5. Balance: 2/5. Depth: 3/5. Finesse: 2/5. Rated: 89. Value: $20. Music pairing: “Macho Man” by Village People. This is WAwineman… uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.

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