Words of the Year. Gawd if that doesn’t make my neck hairs cringe when I hear blah-blah’s-of-the-year bullshit. Even word-mongers have it. What’s even more depressing is that millenials are pushing sway over the de-evolution of our species’ lexicon. Update your noggin’ when those entitled, options-rich but cash-poor hipsters enter your domaine for an “exclusive tasting of only your best wines.” *barf*
accepted def: men who habitually spread their legs on public transportation so that no one will sit next to them.
WAwineman def: something that Sean is not physically able to do simply because… he ain’t a man. More like a meathead.
accepted def: in biological terms, XX full-on acting like XY, and vice-versa.
WAwineman def: Caitlyn Jenner took a cue from Sean Sillyvain and the rest is history.
accepted def: the body of a typical slovenly, sloppy middle-aged male with diabeetus, hypatenshen, and more blood cholesterol than red blood cells.
WAwineman def: typical obese, multi-fold, broke-ass figure of a local smellier who has to eat and drink leftovers from work because the bitch just can’t afford to buy groceries.
accepted def: watching an entire season of one tv show in one sitting, generally via dvds or digital streaming.
WAwineman def: watching Sean cream through 600 donated bottles of wine in a day and having the nerve to assign a point value, of which the Elmer Fudd of wine rating has no experience in, other than terse, one-word jingles that even he abandoned because NO ONE else could be so retarded to rate wines that way.
accepted def: related to the dating website of the same name where undateable individuals, using their dumbphones, use their finger to swipe right (yes) or left (no) on profiles of their next date.
WAwineman def: that’s Sean again after being constipated for a week (because we all know he’s full of shit), he rips a five-pounder morning deuce but because he cannot afford to buy toilet paper from Grossery Outlet, he wipes his hairless
face asshole with his bare right hand. Yes, the one he shakes hands with winemakers he wants to lift wines from.
accepted def: the latest healthy-eating food movement
WAwineman def: what smelliers call a party invite by Sean that turns into a dominatrix orgy where they all get on their knees and do their thing on Sean. You can check if your favorite smellier has been to one lately by asking to see the rugburns on his knees.
Powers Winery is full of modern Washington wine history and, combined with Red Mountain’s first vineyard, this winery is the “chapter 2” (after Harrison Hill and Associated Vintners) of all that is for today’s Washington wine landscape. You can read about the colorful characters back in the day in Ron Irvine’s deliciously iconic, essential, and all-encompassing book, The Wine Project. Thee truly (and only) essential book on Washington wine.
Eggplant violet in the Riedel, expressing pungent blackberry, charred forest, ripe cherry, and mature cedar aromas. Full and long on the palate with flavors of black currant, black earth, grilled tumbleweeds, double shot espresso grounds, and raspberry. Pray for integration.
Alcohol: 14.0%. Red Mountain AVA. 56% north block, 44% block 8. TA 0.62. pH 3.76. Aged 28 months in 60% new French oak. 802 cases. Released June 1, 2015. Power: 3/5. Balance: 2/5. Depth: 3/5. Finesse: 2/5. Rated: 90. Value: $25. Retail: $35. Music pairing: “Can’t Feel My Face” by The Weeknd. This is WAwineman… uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.