Tenor Wines 2012 Columbia Valley syrah

Millenials are total, complete f*cking fools.

These awkward, flatulent, pencil-necked, entitled bloodsuckers think they can change the world by wearing plastic Viking helmets or waxing their thin beards and threatening to bring down the establishment by voting for Bernie or crudely writing a misspelled-pocked review on Yelp. Forget about paying your dues, these rancid skidmarks want instant recognition without earning it. Forget about quality, they want cheap trinkets for the masses. They want business owners to pay more taxes, regardless of the struggle of running a business, while these meely-mouthed employees continually scan their social media communities on the clock. They want “free” education and teachers to be highly paid. Who cares if someone sacrificed more, did their homework properly, took greater risks to take advantage of market-driven economics, and placed themselves on the road to great success while numbnut sockhead was 420-ing everyday during school hours, majored in sociology at a $10,000-a-year institution, participated in homeless parades, and basically did everything but study toward a financially-satisfying goal? No. We’re all “equal” in these moron’s eyes. That’s socialism today.

Here’s just the latest example of millenials and their fallacy of a waxed-beard utopia.

The Tampa Bay Times recently did a WAwineman-like investigation on the farm-to-table movement and uncovered a massive sham of so-called locally-grown ingredients advertised at area restaurants that were actually re-branding out-of-state food items as locally grown. Restaurant staff were waxing poetic about buying meat from a local farmer through a wholesaler, but said wholesaler denied they bought any pork from anyone in that area. And, true to the power of the spoken word, everyone, including publications, rolled with the spiel, totally oblivious to the differences between locally grown and industrially raised. Idiots. Fools.

This is not limited to traditional media.

You see it on Facebook and other sites. Some dipsquat you follow blindly shares a link such as “10 Cancer Causing Foods That You Eat Every Day” that sound alarming but are written from an unreliable source and use scare tactics instead of carefully-evaluated information to base their findings. Of course, after you get baited to click on the link, you get pestered with all sorts of ads and are forced to find the miniscule link to the next page (of 20) that might have any info you got fooled into searching for.

You know who you are. You’re the one either sharing this shit or believing in any of it. Just because it’s in your news feed.

Let’s take a look at one of these sensationalist clickbaits. One site shouted out a list of foods and ingredients that, if followed, means you can’t eat anything unless you grow it yourself, fed from high mountain wells. We’re talking canned tomatoes (bisphenol-A), soda pop (sugar), red meat (possible colon cancer link), non-organic fruits (pesticides), GMOs (cancer), processed meats (nitrates), farmed salmon (PCBs), white flour (high glycemic index–whatever that is), potato chips (acrylamide), hydrogenated oils (omega-6), and alcohol (cancer).

So, that means Italy is a walking bisphenol-A and nitrates population full of cancers. Argentina and Uruguay’s number one killer is colon cancer. 11 out of 10 teenagers have diabeetus. And, drinking wine leads to all sorts of cancers.

Cancer this. Cancer that. Just the sound of it can alter your daily habits. The truth is… it’s all bullshit. These hype-machines assume you eat that junk every day. Every. Single. Day. And, not just a nibble, but a full meal deal. Who the hell does that? And, if you actually know someone who does, then why the f*ck don’t you mention that it’s just not a natural thing to do?

Can you imagine going a week without any of the above-mentioned foods? No. You can’t. You think you can but someone, somewhere fooled you into thinking that you’re Whole Foodsome. You’re not. You don’t have the money or the guile to get it done. These foods are a part of our lives… in moderation. Our country’s average life expectancy continues to rise, diacetyl-glazed Orville Redenbacher’s or not.

As for that alcohol listing, “excessive use” is the main cause of a plethora of cancers from your boobs to your butt. Yeah, define “excessive use.” Where’s the data? It’s bullshit written by 18th Amendment  holdovers and paid for by Southern Faptists and ISIS. “Excessive use” of anything is gunna f*ck you up. Whether it’s asparagus or reading those glaucoma-inducing tweets and dickless posts from Sean.

So, the lesson here is simple. Think before you become a sucker. Yeah, just like those “free” tickets you won from Alaska Airlines. Or that shitty wine you bought on Sean Hong’s recommendation.

Same goes for consumers who join wine clubs with a big-time distributor. You think you’re getting “preferred” pricing by getting that $60 wine for $51, even though you have to buy six of them and stay committed for the next three shipments. Who’s getting the deal? Hint, not you, buddy.

We found this gem on sale for $45 at a nationally-recognized wine seller. This is a 2012, not 2011. Avoid all 2011s from 95% of this state’s wineries. It sucks. No, really, it sucks. However, go find any 2012 vintage red and you can’t go wrong. So far. The 2012s are quite amazing and comparable to the stellar 2005 vintage in Washington–perhaps the overall best of this millennium so far. If we had to rate the vintages right now, this is how they stack up: (1) 2005, (2) 2007, (3) 2012, (4) 2006, (5) 2009, (6) 2003, (7) 2008, (8) 2002. And, the sweet spot for maximum value is anywhere in the range of $9 to $45 for the 2012s.

This is one of those $45 Motley Fool recommendations, if they did wine. Originally priced in the $60 neighborhood, some wholesaler had leftover stash and wanted to clear it quickly. Sure, I feel sorry for anyone who paid $50 and up for this BUT, hey, you still got what you paid for. This is a wine that plays well now on the dinner table and will for a couple decades more. Store it for another ten years upside down and bust it out at your good friend’s wedding. Or, if you are in the club, pop one every couple of years at Thanksgiving or the summer picnic at the lake.

Tasted at 62-68 degrees on the IR temp gun. A manly dark black-royal purple in the Riedel with a harvest basket of roasted ham, bacon drippings, black violet, plum fairies, Yosemite log cabin, and homestead blackberry drooling over the rim. Full and long on the palate with silky smooth nuances parading down the gullet.

Alcohol: 14.6%. 211 cases. Vineyards: Lawrence, Va Piano. Fermented 18 days. 75% new 500L French oak. Bottled March 17, 2014. Released March 22, 2015. “I thought of La Mouline”–winemaker. I thought of Smasne 2007 Block 3 syrah myself thank you. I’ll never understand why winemakers belittle their Washington wines by comparing them to other regions. Maybe they just don’t know how good Washington wines are. Too bad for them. Power: 2/5. Balance: 4/5. Depth: 4/5. Finesse: 4/5. Rated: 94. Value: $60. Music pairing: “Back On The Chain Gang” by The Pretenders. This is WAwineman… uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.

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2 Responses to Tenor Wines 2012 Columbia Valley syrah

  1. Winemaker of Mass Destruction says:

    Good post.

    With regards to -> processed meats (nitrates):
    Sodium nitrite and Sodium erythorbate as well as Ascorbic acid is added to smoked to meats to keep them pink and not look like a sun dried dog turd after curing/smoking. They also inhibit/prevent bacteria Clostridium botulinum.

    So you can die instantly from C. bot neurotoxin (without the preservative) or *possibly* long term by cancer with the preservative.

    I would like to ask permission to use “Yosemite log cabin” as one of my new descriptors to toss around . It is perfect!

    Oh, and Diabeetus <- I get it. 😛


  2. wawineman says:

    Request approved!
    From the smoke master himself! So, like eating smoked meats prevents scurvy, eh? Yet another reason preserved animal proteins are good for ya!

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