Tag Archives: columbia valley ava wines

Kirkland Signature 2015 Columbia Valley red wine

It’s sunny. It’s May. It’s the Pacific Northwest. That can only mean one thing… human body parts showing up in all the wrong places. The region that brought us serial killers Ted Bundy and Gary Ridgway would smile as they … Continue reading

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Davenport Cellars 2015 Snowflake white wine

It’s Washington Wine Month as declared by the half-wits and inbreds over at the flimsy marketing consortium known as the Commission so you know what that means? Grimy supermarkets selling their old stock at “sale” prices they should have been … Continue reading

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Guardian Cellars 2014 Newsprint chardonnay

What does it mean when one dies of “natural causes”? That the final decision from a British coroner after chopping and squeezing George Michael’s remains from Christmas Day. The diseases he succumbed to were cardiomyopathy and fatty liver, but no, … Continue reading

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Betz Family Winery 2014 Reserve du Soleil red wine

Let’s all hail Donald Trump as the next President of the United Stats. After all, the Don himself said he was leading in the polls and he personally sent me a confirmation at 4 in the morning that I will … Continue reading

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Ross Andrew Winery 2011 Old Block Syrah

Fling another pie in the Millenial’s face! Bernie’s army just got a lot thinner after yet another set of expected losses, mostly in the backyard of homer’s Northeast region. “It’s a posture of reality,” quipped the nursing home candidate who … Continue reading

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Tenor Wines 2012 Columbia Valley syrah

Millenials are total, complete f*cking fools. These awkward,¬†flatulent, pencil-necked, entitled bloodsuckers think they can change the world by wearing plastic Viking helmets or waxing their thin beards and threatening to bring down the establishment by voting for Bernie or crudely … Continue reading

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Betz Family Winery 2012 Le Parrain

Do we miss Florida or waaaaat? A 68 year-old Lakeland¬†pensioner was one of the solicitors in an undercover sweep of prostitutes. The following is a trail of his crime, not unlike a local wine blogger preparing to give a speech … Continue reading

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