Tag Archives: washington state wines

Kirkland Signature 2015 Columbia Valley red wine

It’s sunny. It’s May. It’s the Pacific Northwest. That can only mean one thing… human body parts showing up in all the wrong places. The region that brought us serial killers Ted Bundy and Gary Ridgway would smile as they … Continue reading

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Nelms Road 2009 merlot

Tasted at 57-64 degrees on the IR temp gun. Color: dark magenta with a ruby’d edge. Nose: faint black cherry, schnoz heat. Mouthfeel: thick. Tail trail: 6 hot seconds. Flavors: sticky black cherry, expected alcohol sting, band aid, clove. Brought … Continue reading

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Idilico 2009 Washington State garnacha

Dedicated to my fans in Florida… Ever since Paull Gray Gutt, the weakly wine writer who quit (or got fired from) the local rag, made a recent visit to The Sunshine State, the citizens there remain dis-affected by his wobbly … Continue reading

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Titan Cellars 2009 Red Blend

Wine bloggers in Washington are a fetid, feculent group of delusional lowbrows who think wineries owe them for hyping up their wineries to all ten of their brokeass compadres. Evidence of their immature, outdated, and all-around blasé “vibe” strategies are … Continue reading

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Kiona Vineyards Winery 2009 Washington State riesling

Our crack investigative team has uncovered the mysterious breakup of Sean and Anny and newfound bond between Sean and Jameson. Not that anyone with decency wants to know, but deep down… you know you want to know what happened with … Continue reading

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Washington Hills Winery 2007 gewurztraminer

Here in Washington, there is no shortage of free-and-clear dumbass idiots posing as wine bloggers in an effort to score free wine as compensation for juiced write-ups about the winery that supplied these morons in the first place. Consider such … Continue reading

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Red Diamond Winery 2008 Washington State merlot

Welcome to the Sean Patrick issue! This is a faux-celebrity, industry-wine blogger biography roast, imitating the antics of fellow dipshit (and future wine blogger) Charlie Sheen. So, this little prick was born south of Boston, MA back in the mid-60s … Continue reading

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