Another cash money night, thank you Mayweather!!! Good guys finish last.
Welcome to the 1970’s issue!
Here’s a first world problem that some of you out there understand.
If you’re like me, you do a fair amount of traveling for your j.o.b. You negotiate deals from a distance then fly over to seal the deal and make the company sustainable for years to come. You call the shuttle service so often, they recognize your voice and the driver knows how many bags to expect for that 5am pickup. You roll through check-in then drag your designer spinner carry-on over to the caterpillar line at Starbucks to fuel up for the long flight then grab a paper and an impulse-buy gossip mag just for kicks then settle in to a strategically-placed seat near the gate door. After a few priority levels, your status “club” is called and you make that solemn trek through the tunnel to the jet and rubberneck your way to your seat. All belted in, you grab the airline magazine and curiously wander its pages. Then, it hits you…
Who the fuck reads this shit? Like I really want to get in early on that flamingo-colored Miami beach club condo. And what of those horrendously gemmed-up rings from some French-sounding designer? Nope. And I’ll pass on that black-and-white wingback chair that’s tall enough to seat Lurch. And, yeah, I know all about the steaks at Metropolitan Grill and John Howie.
But, the worst of these white-peeps problems are the asinine ads for hooking up with other busy deadbeats in my world. Single? Check. Successful? Since birth. Selective? We talkin’ about breast size? Simply too busy? I wrote the book on unproductivity– heck, this blog proves that. Then, the eyes drovel down to this photoshopped picture of a middle-aged blonde with the Botox’d eyes and perky boob job as she sucks in her gut for the camera. Like, uh, no. Holy crap, batman? This bitch has fifteen, FIFTEEN!, offices in the country and one in jolly ol’ England. Um yeah, I ain’t about to shell out for a $10,000 nookie run and surgical piece of art.
Whaddya ya know… a few pages later, there’s a full page ad for visiting Beaver Creek. Yeah. Been there. Too many times. Some with full bush. Some clear-cut. Some with low hanging meat hooks, some with a look that made me wonder, “Is this considered statutory?” This, followed by a “Date Smarter” full page ad proclaiming matchmaking through a lunch date. No, I’m not interested in meeting a nearly eyebrowless blonde who graduated from Huskyville to be a sales agent for Big Pharma. A few more pages down, and yet another matchmaking service where another Barbie promotes finders keepers. This smells of legalized escort services and makes me wonder if the balding dude next to me is a presage to my own decline.
Then, hey, flip the page and baldy over there can be cured via robotic technology with hair transplants. That’s just wonderful. I can imagine the day when HAL 9000 is assigned to my bare melon and short circuits when its computers realize I have no pubes to harvest from, thus igniting my oiled scalp and leading to fourth degree burns.
But hey, the inside back cover provides the remedy as I can contact some big time lawyers and settle out-of-court and all’s well that ends well.
Where’s my neck pillow?
Okay, cocks and chicks, it’s Quiz Time!
The category is… 70’s detectives tv shows. With a little assistance from a neighboring tasting room gimp, see if you can stump the wineman for a great bottle of wine! As always, no cheating via the internet or any other reference tool. Pull it straight from your noggin’. You have three minutes (about 5 seconds per question). Your time begins… NOW!
One standard bottle:
1. Telly Savalas played detective Kojak. What was Kojak’s first name?
2. Barnaby Jones was played by the same actor who starred in The Wizard Of Oz. What character did he play in that movie?
3. Robert Blake portrayed Tony Baretta. What famous singer belted the theme song for the show?
4. Raymond Burr was Robert Ironside. What was his character’s middle initial?
5. James Garner was the main actor for The Rockford Files. What was his character’s first name?
6. New York City was the setting, Hal Linden was the lead actor. Name the show.
7. Pepper Anderson was the main character. Who played the character and name the tv show.
8. Columbo was one of the longest running tv detective series covered by one actor as the lead. Who played the lead character?
1. David Janssen played Harry O in the series. The “O” stood for?
2. What was the name of The Streets of San Francisco lead detective played by Karl Malden?
3. “Hondo” was the nickname of the lead character for this white-hot but short-lived series. Name the series, the full name of the character, and the actor.
4. Erik Estrada was one of the lead cops for this show. Name the show, his character’s full name, and nickname.
5. Who played Starsky and who played Hutch?
6. Rock Hudson was the lead actor in McMillan & Wife. What was McMillan’s first name?
7. Darren McGavin starred in The Night Stalker. What was his character’s name?
8. Who played Frank Cannon?
1. New York City, Los Angeles, and this other city were the most frequent settings for 70’s detective shows. Name the city and at least three tv detective shows based in that city.
2. Who played Joe Mannix?
3. Dennis Weaver got the lead role as Sam for this tv detective show. Name the show.
4. George Peppard was the freewheeling lead for this ephemeral detective show. Name the show and the city it was set in.
A case of single-vineyard cabernet:
1. Pete, Julie, and “Linc” were undercover cops for this groundbreaking counterculture detective series. Name the tv show.
And for you pussies who are going WTF?, here are some brainless ones you can get even if you clicked through TV Land on the way to Playboy Channel. For a piccolo:
1. Jack Lord’s character name and the tv series.
2. Jaime Sommers. Real name or character? A question with bionic implications…
3. Lee Majors. Male or female?
4. Name the original three actresses of Charlie’s Angels.
5. Who played John Shaft?
6. Speaking of Charlie’s Angels, what were the first names of those original three characters?
DOUBLE OR NOTHING
70’s trivia (non-detective):
1. The original “pilot” show for Happy Days (before it was named Happy Days) was shown on this eclectic dramedy tv series. Name this iconic 70’s tv show.
NO PARTIAL CREDITS!!!
Comment your answers if you’re honest and got the guts to admit it. I don’t want to know if you cheated and neither does anyone else. Don’t ruin the fun. International readers get a few mulligans.
It’s Taco Sunday in the warehouse district and the official release of this blog’s unanimous vote for best white wine lineage. You hear that? Best. White. Wine. Lineage. Not “one of the best.” Not a one-hit wonder. And, it is coming-out day today. If I see your ass stealing my tacos in the parking lot, I will actually forgive you because of this wine. Just don’t thief my wine. And yes, you can hand in your answers while I chow down on some hot nasty double-wraps.
A great pairing with vermicelli noodles, fish sauce, lemongrass beef, and julienned veggies. Thank you, Nguyen sisters!
Tasted at 53-60 degrees on the IR temp gun. Smiling light gold in the Riedel and pushing scents of grapefruit, lemon crème, red apple, and citrus rind. Dense and full on the palate with a deep reserve of flavors true to the aromas plus mandarin orange and more pink grapefruit. Pleasant mid-palate lift. Pairs well with lighter-colored, healthy faire. A best friend to common vegetables, light herbs, white meats, mild dairy, and non-bizarre ethnic foods like fish tacos. Hard to calculate what this wine doesn’t pair well with.
Alcohol: 14.0%. Klipsun Vineyard. Red Mountain AVA. The usual Reiner regimen (see past reviews) for vinification. 525 cases. Expect to sellout by Independence Day so get yours now. Buy one to open tonight, and buy one more to open in three years. There’s a reason for the new French oak massage. Power: 3/5. Balance: 3/5. Depth: 3/5. Finesse: 3/5. Rated: 92. Value: $30. Paid: $20. Music pairing: “Whodunit” by Tavares. This is WAwineman… uncorked, uneducated but not uncouth.