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Kirkland Signature 2015 Columbia Valley red wine
It’s sunny. It’s May. It’s the Pacific Northwest. That can only mean one thing… human body parts showing up in all the wrong places. The region that brought us serial killers Ted Bundy and Gary Ridgway would smile as they … Continue reading
Powers Winery 2013 Coyote Vineyard cabernet sauvignon
Wine bloggers in Washington still just don’t get it. First, some background. To “qualify” as a Washington wine blogger, one must be either unemployed or unemployable. You know the plethora of examples if you are a regular to this blog. … Continue reading
Davenport Cellars 2015 Snowflake white wine
It’s Washington Wine Month as declared by the half-wits and inbreds over at the flimsy marketing consortium known as the Commission so you know what that means? Grimy supermarkets selling their old stock at “sale” prices they should have been … Continue reading
Guardian Cellars 2014 Newsprint chardonnay
What does it mean when one dies of “natural causes”? That the final decision from a British coroner after chopping and squeezing George Michael’s remains from Christmas Day. The diseases he succumbed to were cardiomyopathy and fatty liver, but no, … Continue reading
Betz Family Winery 2014 Reserve du Soleil red wine
Let’s all hail Donald Trump as the next President of the United Stats. After all, the Don himself said he was leading in the polls and he personally sent me a confirmation at 4 in the morning that I will … Continue reading
Intrinsic Wine Co. 2014 cabernet sauvignon
Can’t a wine blogger get a few months of rest? Readers in Louisiana, Minnesota, Texas, and now Nice, France need to stop the violence in demanding new blog posts from yours truly. Even the Don has refused to name the … Continue reading
Fidelitas 2005 Champoux Vineyard cabernet sauvignon
More evidence from Generation D… the dumbest generation. So apparently, there’s a new device released in the wild recently that combines the anatomy of a bong with the shape of a Champagne flute. Hipsters have gravitated to this new form … Continue reading
Double Canyon 2013 Horse Heaven Hills cabernet sauvignon
Breaking news from Anny as they prepare for their nuptials: “We at Washington Free Wine Reporter would like to share a cautionary tale with our twelve fans. Last night, our non-credentialed wine expert Sean Hong was cutting jalapenos and neglected … Continue reading
Ross Andrew Winery 2011 Old Block Syrah
Fling another pie in the Millenial’s face! Bernie’s army just got a lot thinner after yet another set of expected losses, mostly in the backyard of homer’s Northeast region. “It’s a posture of reality,” quipped the nursing home candidate who … Continue reading
Tenor Wines 2012 Columbia Valley syrah
Millenials are total, complete f*cking fools. These awkward, flatulent, pencil-necked, entitled bloodsuckers think they can change the world by wearing plastic Viking helmets or waxing their thin beards and threatening to bring down the establishment by voting for Bernie or crudely … Continue reading
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